Monday, January 31, 2011
Blurb: Truly, America's most reliable news source.
Backstory: There's nothing I love more than making fun of real news. It gives me a moment to reflect on the business I work in and how absurd is can be. Also, The Onion gets to say things I would never get to say. Do you know how many times I've wanted to use shit or fuck in a tease? A lot. So, thank you library for letting me borrow this book.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Blurb: These boots are clearly too big for this baby.
Backstory: My cousin Kaity visited us today and brought her little baby. The best thing about infants is that you can dress them in whatever you want and they can't fight back. My mom bought this little guy shoes that are for a toddler but they were too cute not to put on him. So enjoy this picture: Baby in Big Shoes.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Blurb: Girl, I just got my nails did!
Backstory: It's been a day of estrogen. Today I went to brunch, had a pedicure and went to David's Bridal. My world was seriously engulfed my female hormones, and there's nothing wrong with that. I now have toe nails that are ready to meet the winter world. Happy Weekend.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Blurb: I'm a woman of complex contradictions.
Backstory: I decided to celebrate Friday payday by picking up a few things. I just wanted some wine and I was buying shoes near the Whole Foods so I decided to stop in. On the buying shoes part I went to an actual running shoe store because I'm going to get fit this year and I want to take care of my legs and stuff.
If you're in the market for shoes go to this store, it's called Front Runner. I tried on eight different pairs of shoes and the sales person didn't care. He actually would have let me try on every shoe in the store without complaining. If you're looking to make an investment I highly recommend it.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Blurb: The mysteries of Christmas revealed.
Backstory: We are a family that notoriously misplaces things, especially around Christmas time. It's been over a month since we unwrapped presents but that doesn't mean it's too late to find a gift. We've been looking for these Target gift cards since that morning, which is really sad because I wanted that card. I tried to steal my sister's boyfriend's card but mom wouldn't let me. So now I get to go buy something stupid. Happy Thursday.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Blurb: Today is my one year anniversary with Sadie. We celebrated by getting treats at Three Dog Bakery.
Backstory: What can I say about this dog. It's been an interesting year in more ways than one and much of that can be attributed to Sadie entering my life. From the moment I laid eyes on her on the Washington Humane Society website something clicked. She was so little with her head cocked to the right with no eye. She had a face full of expression even though she had just had her eye removed. That feeling really sums her up.
Over the past 12 months she's really pealed like an onion. Some of the layers are good and the others are bad, like to eat poop out of the back yard and sprint away from me. But it's true what President Harry Truman once said, "if you want a friend in Washington get a dog." Many days she felt like my only friend in our nation's capitol. I'd go home to an empty apartment, no phone calls from friends and quick turn around to work, but she's be there ready to be by my side.
We've had some rough patches just like any other relationship. Earning her trust has been a major obstacle. Everyone tells you shelter dogs are so grateful and love you that much more. That wasn't something I felt from her, really, in the first six months. She'd growl at my roommate when she tried to get on the couch and she's bitten me in the face twice. Only in the past few months have I seen that aggression fade away and a happier animal come out. Plus, let's discuss the poop eating. It can not be stopped, I even checked with the vet. It's just something she's going to do unless I can get to her. Then there were the times in DC she felt the need to sprint away from me sometimes across busy streets. There are a few people who without them she probably wouldn't be here today.
In spite of these things she's helped me learn what it truly means to be in it for the long haul and love unconditionally. When I made a commitment to her it was for the rest of her days. Even though she does enjoy a little nibble on a turd and she can get aggressive I've learned those things mean more than just the surface action. She's still the one that's most excited for me to get home, defends me when she thinks I'm in trouble and she provides some amazing bed time cuddles.
I know this is the first of many great years to come. If these past months have taught me anything it's that she has much more to show me. I believe with time she'll totally come out of "survival mode" as my mother calls it. So today I urge you to raise a glass to Sadie, second chances and commitment.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Blurb: I've officially switched from snarky taxation without representation plates to happy beautifuly Ohio.
Backstory: I've officially made the transition from DC person to Ohioan. All the important things in my life are on record in the buckeye state, Sadie and the 4Runner. Today's final trip to the BMV means I'm finally a legal driver with not out of date plates.
It's a little sad to see these plates go. I worked really hard to get them in the District, jumping through hoop after hoop and paying hundred of dollars in fines and fees. Seeing them leave my car is putting the nail in the coffin of my time on the east coast. With the changes of the plates I've closed a chapter on my life. Goodbye District. It wasn't you it was me.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Blurb: You win this time BMV, you win this time. But I'll be back tomorrow.
Bailey and the BMV, a Novella: Part One
As of last Thursday I haven't lived in the District of Columbia for four months. During this entire time I've been driving with out of state plates that expired in November. The first two months I continued to drive with them because they hadn't expired so it saved me time and money. Now, for the past two months I've been driving with expired out of state plates because I'm lazy.
Today I was reminded of why I've been putting of the wonderful task of visiting the BMV. They don't break rules or an inch. I mean who doesn't break a rule every once in a while? Sometimes I run red lights when no one's around. I respect the fact that they're doing their job but I also get really mad that they don't let me get off easy.
I was missing one key element today when I went to get all my DC paperwork switched to Ohio: my social security card. The worst part was someone told me before I left work I was going to need it. Instead I decided to take a chance and I lost. Here's why I believe they should have let me slip through without my social security card, I have every document ever related to this car. Most impressively the original Ohio title I used to register it the first time. I was promptly told when I got there that wasn't good enough.
There's no use rambling on. They will not let you do things unless it's by the book. I think they do get some small joy in telling us no. That's exactly why I yelled at a DDOT worker once (ask me about it some time). So I will trudge back to the Ohio Department of Public Safety tomorrow with social security card and Benjamins in hand. Because if you want to use a credit card they they charge a three percent convenience fee.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Blurb: Children always add a nice touch of fun to a meal.
Backstory: There's nothing better than Sunday brunch, I'm a huge fan. This morning/afternoon it was Starliner Diner in Hilliard with my fav dining companions Monica and Brett and a very special addition. One of Monica's friends brought her 3 year old daughter who's obsessed with Monica because she loves pretty.
Overall Starliner is a pretty good place to eat. It's not my favorite brunch destination in Columbus but it works. The interesting thing about this place is that it's a Cuban take on a traditional diner. So all the dishes that you normally get for brunch come filled with peppers, onions and chorizo, plus they have amazing Cuban bread which is essentially Texas toast. It was my favorite part of the meal. This is definitely a place of wide appeal and I probably would have liked it better if I had gotten deep fried Cuban bread french coast.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Blurb: Looking so ugly has never looked so good.
Backstory: I'm counting this as day 22, even though it's just after midnight on the 23. Tonight was the much anticipated "Ugly Sweater Party." I really thought I had a good one but when I got there I found I was very wrong. The man who won had some crazy crocheted sweater with hearts that looked like they were connected with cobwebs. Plus, he had no shirt on underneath.
This is my friend Marcus. The funniest thing about this picture is that I gave that tie to him for his birthday a few years ago. He'd just moved to Columbus and needed some Buckeye gear to wear on air. Needless to say he's worn it once maybe twice and one of the times was tonight. Thank goodness it looks awful with a plaid sweater and floral shirt.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Blurb: There's nothing that can real sum up this picture better than Ella Fitzgerald's Heat Wave.
Backstory: This was the temperature when I left work today at 9:22am, pretty cold huh? So far this is the coldest it's been all year which isn't saying much since there have only been 21 days. The average temperature in January is a little over 20 degrees. What I'm trying to say is it's the worst month in Columbus.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Blurb: When I put on my glasses I magically start reading books for smart people.
Backstory: I don't feel smarter with my glasses on, but apparently they actually do make me look smarter. According to the British College of Optometrists, people who wear glasses look smarter and are more likely to find work. They give you that bookish, intellectual look that so many people covet. It's an interesting opinion when you consider how many people were made fun of for wearing them back in the day.
For the past three months I've been doing without the specs. Right after moving back from DC I lost my glasses. This has been a much bigger pain in the ass than I thought it would be because of sleeping a split shift. I've been sleeping five hours during the day then three later in the evening, taking out my contacts every time I need so sleep. I'm most happy about my new glasses because they're more conducive to spontaneous napping.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Blurb: It's always sunny in Columbus. Welcome to paradise.
Backstory: The weather is officially awful. At some point between December and March the weather in the midwest turns into a cold swamp. The snow melts about half way leaving little frozen piles of slush along with lots of water. On top of these conditions there is an ever present mist. It's cold and just sits on your coat in little beads and leaves ruts for you to drive through. What I'm trying to say is, "Dear Weather, please pick a season and stay with it."
Blurb: Epic win. Sadie has a big win over the chair.
Backstory: As you can see Sadie is back in rare form. Yesterday she really wanted to sit the chair but there was a laundry basket there. I didn't feel like moving it so I decided to let her try to figure it out by herself. It started by jumping and falling backwards. Then it progressed to jumping right in front of the basket and sitting on the little ledge near the basket. Finally she decided that sucked and she jumped on top. She can almost see Russia from her perch.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Blurb: This looks scary but it's actually very delicious.
Backstory: It's restaurant week in Columbus. Tonight I went to the Fish Market, which is a restaurant I've been wanting to try for years. I'm a lover of sea food and this place wasn't bad. Honestly, you're not going to get great seafood far away from the coast even if it is flown in everyday. Sorry some Columbus restaurants, my time on the eastern sea board spoiled me.
The meal in general was pretty good and definitely worth the $20 price tag. The Caesar salad was creamy and filled with garlic(something I love). The cod was done to perfection but I wasn't crazy about the lobster and shrimp stuffing on top. I'm not a fan of lemon seasoning in anything and it was used in the stuff. Dessert was great, rich brownie with smooth ice cream. Everyone should try to get out this week and try something new during restaurant week!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Blurb: There's nothing better than Jenni's ice cream, especially when they have new flavors!
Backstory: It's a robust 20 degrees in Columbus so obviously the perfect Sunday afternoon activity is getting ice cream. All exceptions are made when it's Jeni's splendid ice cream and they've released new flavors. The store comes out with new flavors about twice a season, Friday was the release date for this batch of five.
I had some free time on my hands for I decided it was a perfect window to get a cup of what I could only expect would be deliciousness. I was right. Looking to keep things a little light I only opted for the single which is two mini scopes. My choices: Honey Butter Cake and Roxbury Road, both new flavors.
Most of the seasonal offerings have a story with them because it's a local place and they want you to feel connected to the product. Honey Butter Cake is inspired by Jeni's husband who's from Saint Louis where they make gooey buttercakes. The ice cream is made by soaking the buttercake in a honey butterscotch sauce then mixing it in a honeyed cream cheese ice cream. It's velvety with lots of sauce but not so much that it makes the ice cream runny. Roxbury Road is a local take on Rocky Road. It's got little handmade marshmallows, salty caramel sauce and locally toasted almonds folded into a chocolate ice cream that's right between a dark and light chocolate. All these little ingredients definitely made for surprises during my eating experience, not bad ones good ones. I highly recommend a visit no matter the temperatures.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Blurb: This guy clearly knew what he was doing.
Backstory: It's BeerFest weekend in Columbus and I fancy myself as someone who enjoys a cold one. But I always over estimate how much I like beer. Imaginary beer world is filled with strong double chocolate coffee stouts and hand brewed 90 minute IPAs. Beer reality is filled with Bud Light, Blue Moon and Sam Adams Summer. I like drinking beer just not what the "aficionados" call acceptable.
The group I went with took a very relaxed approach to the whole event, mainly going to the booths where the lines were the shortest. Sometimes people would be standing to the side, tasting their samples like a sommelier. A little swishing and sniffing followed by a medium gulp of the beer. These are the people I want to hit. Yes alcohol is special and it's fun to known stuff about but don't turn it into douche fest. This is why I prefer wine festivals. Almost everyone there is there just to get drunk.
If you want to hear a fun story ask be about the time I made beer.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Blurb: Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you just want to punch someone in the nuts.
Backstory: Not everyday is going to be a good day, and Sadie had a bad day. This morning she had her teeth cleaned and seven of them had to be pulled. She no longer has any little front teeth between her canines and she lost three in the back. This is something I knew was coming. When I adopted her they told me she had some that would need work, I just didn't expect this much. And of course neither did she.
I brought Sadie the one eyed lady home a few hours ago and she is definitely in some pain. We have a medicine but I think she's going to be taking it easy for a couple days. Import note about this project: not every post is going to be happy or funny. Like I said up top, not everyday is going to be a good day.
It's a little late but here it is...
Blurb: Looking for a way to fight the fat! Denise Austin will help me get fit, she has before.
Backstory: I don't care what people say Denise Austin is amazing. My best friend in high school introduced me to the magic she creates in spandex. I was looking for my sister's Jillian Michaels' DVD yesterday but instead I found these VHS tapes, a blast from my thin past. When I did these "tapes" in high school I was actually in shape and saw results so I think I'm going to start doing them again.
Plus, I've seen Denise Austin in person and she is ripped. She's apparently friends with few people I used to work with and she visited my old station once. I really wish I would have taken my picture with her because I was so into her videos. These are the tip of the iceberg of my VHS collect, I've managed to use them so much that they had to be thrown away. Also, she wears Sketchers Shape Ups.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Blurb: Apparently this is a Midwestern thing, a very helpful Midwestern thing.
Backstory: Do you know what this is? Chances are you might. We get a lot of snow here in the vast land between California and New York so you have to do whatever you can to give yourself the upper hand against Mother Nature. When it's about to snow many people lift up their windshield wipers, this keeps them from getting frozen to the windshield and you don't have to dig them out.
I didn't realize this was uncommon until someone from northern Virginia was really confused by this. He drove into work today and became worried when he saw a bunch of wipers in the air. So today I'm beginning my the first part in my long running series You Know You're From the Midwest When...
- You lift up the wipers on your car before it snows
- 4 of your neighbors have snow blowers
- 7 neighbors don't shovel their sidewalks but put salt down because they think it works just as well.
- You own snow pants and use them.
I bought my first pair of snow pants this weekend and they are amazing! I wore them today to scrape my car and walk the dog, I hadn't realized how cold my butt was until I had the wind and snow resistance pants on. If you would like to see me sporting my super sexy pants head to Day 9. I'm thinking about wearing them work. Black pants are formal,right?
Monday, January 10, 2011
Blurb: Meet the diet buster, Audino's fried croissant. I had two before I realized what happened.
Backstory: This is one of the most delicious things I've ever tasted. It's buttery, fried and covered in glaze. One of our co-workers brought these back a few weeks ago and they were AMAZING! The Audino's fried croissant is melt in your mouth euphoric goodness. We got them today because it was someone's birthday, so Andy thank you for turning 39. Diet busted.
Blurb: This was the only time I was standing during my entire trip.
Backstory: It's true that failure is a great learning tool. My trip to Mad River Mountain wasn't an epic failure or even a failure, it was more of a comedy of errors/learning experience.
So here are some lessons I learned:
1. Wear a helmet
2. Don't Snowboard
It was media day at Mad River which meant we got everything for free. I've always wanted to hit the slopes so this was the perfect opportunity. So I got to the resort early to make sure I could get everything in order before my lesson(also free). I'm not going to lie, I thought it would be easy. People always talk about how hard snowboarding is but I never believed them. I blame this lack of belief on the Winter Olympics.
Turns out this shit is hard. There's lots of walking uphill with a board attached to one foot and falling. Lots and lots of falling. The lesson was enjoyable because I was supervised by someone who didn't mind treating me like a baby. Turning was tough and I took a couple spills during that part of class(helmet lesson learned) but I was pretty optimist. Right after the lesson was when this picture was taken, before I hit the bunny hill by myself.
The bunny hill didn't go so well. Again I blame the Winter Olympics. When I got to the top of the hill I did the rollie pollie roll over thing they teach you to get up then I pointed my board forward and took off. The whole thing went much faster than I expected which caused me to panic. I tried to do one of my turns from class but this ended up with me on my ass. This scene replayed four times down the hill. By the time I got to the bottom I was done with the whole experience. I realized I was going to spend the entire day falling and then doing push-ups to get myself back up. Needless to say I turned in my boots and headed home.
All in all I was very glad to have had the whole experience. But next time I'm going to try skiing. I heard that's easier.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Mishap with the camera
So I took pictures from my trip to Mad River Mountain, but they're on my camera and not on my memory card. So once I figure out how to get the pictures off my camera I'll post the pic and matching story. Let's just say I feel like someone hit my hamstrings with a 2x4.
So I took pictures from my trip to Mad River Mountain, but they're on my camera and not on my memory card. So once I figure out how to get the pictures off my camera I'll post the pic and matching story. Let's just say I feel like someone hit my hamstrings with a 2x4.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Blurb: It's Roosevelt weather. Actually it's not, Roosevelt weather is 55 and dry.
Nerd Alert! Be prepared for some serious nerd love.
Backstory: I loves me some presidential biographies. This is the biggest one I've taken on. I've always been a history buff but my attention didn't gravitate towards presidential biographies until after I read Sarah Vowel's book Assassination Vacation. It's all about the four men who have been shot will serving as our nation's Commander-in-Chief. She gives a history of their presidency, their assassin and her trips to visit the historic sites related to their lives and the lives of their assassins.
This sounds like a pretty boring book to most people, but Sarah Vowel is an amazing story teller and extremely funny. Her narative ignited my interest in presidential history and more importantly lead me to Abraham Lincoln. Up to this point I've only read books about Lincoln or based around his administration. My favorite so far is Lincoln As I Knew Him which is a compilation of stories about Lincoln from the people who knew him best. After that I also recommend Manhunt by James Swanson.
Now I'm moving towards a different man, Theodore Roosevelt(still the youngest man ever to hold the post). I've always been a fan of Roosevelt mostly because he looks like my uncle. This book is supposed to be one of the best presidential biographies ever written. It won a Pulitzer in the early 80s. The only downside is it's HUGE. So, wish me luck. It's Roosevelt weather.
Update: If you read yesterday's post good for you, if not suck it. I have a follow up because I have figured out what the thing was in my picture. Major thanks to my fellow producer Stu for solving this major mystery. It's a rotten radish. Yes, that is correct I am not making this up. Apparently these radishes were smelling so bad people thought it was a gas leak. So what does our reporter do? She brings it back to the station.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Blurb: This has been sitting outside the door to our newsroom for about three days. I have no clue what it is but assume it's a root vegetable of sorts. If you can tell me what it is I'll give you a dollar.
Backstory: You find some crazy things in and outside of a newsroom. I have no clue why someone left this turd looking thing outside the main door we use. The best part of the whole thing is that it's in the lid of a copy paper box. Seriously, would your office have something like this outside their door?
But surprisingly it's not the weirdest thing I've seen outside that newsroom door. The most shocking was the day 16 gas cans were lined up on the porch. It really makes you hope everyone's in a good mood and not feeling a little postal. Turns out the gas cans were for a sweeps story. There are still two sitting out on the porch three months later.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Blurb: Move over Sadie, mommy has a new Baby.
Backstory: Meet Charlotte, a six month old baby Kangaroo from the Columbus Zoo. I loves me some baby animals, even when they smell like poo and wood chips. Her handlers carry her around in a little Vera Bradley bag to simulate her mother's pouch. She was so sweet and well behaved, she just looked around the studio while we all passed her around in her little Vera.
The most hilarious part of Charlotte's visit was during the interview. She's still bottle fed and enjoys suckling. So she turned our meteorologist's suit jacket into her own personal bottle, specifically his nipple. She tried to nurse from him on air. Needless to say this was the highlight of my morning.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Blurb: I wanna be a millionaire so freakin' bad! Smilen' next to Oprah and the Queen.
Backstory: The Mega Millions drawing is tonight and the jackpot is $330 million, which is close to a record. Myself and another producer went in on ten tickets (they print them 5 to a ticket now). So here's hoping I'm the state's next millionaire.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Blurb: The only place in Columbus where a classy lady can eat a Classy Lady, in a nonsexual way.
Backstory: Dirty Franks is a gourmet hot dog restaurant. I went from DC were burgers are in vogue, to Columbus where everyone loves a good vienna wiener. My friend Monica and I eat here all the time (at least once every other week)and part of the fun is all the wiener jokes you get to make. The food is good, don't get me wrong, but who doesn't love the extra fun of a good joke.
Another great thing about this place is the name of the hot dogs. Nothing is called by the exact toppings. For example, tonight I had a "classy lady" which is a hot dog covered in cheese and crushed potato chips. Some of my other favorites include Bollywood Nights, the Texas Tommy and the Pittsburgh Princess.
This blog is not going to just be about what I eat. It just so happens the most exciting parts of my life right now are the things I'm eating.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Starting off the New Year with a delicious brunch at Tasi. Probably one of the best places to eat in Columbus.
The picture is a little blurry because I took it without a flash, so as not to startle the other patrons. I decided to beadventurous and try eggs benedict and the verdict is not great. They tasted good but kind of freaked me out because of the texture. But at least I tried something different.
Everything at Tasi is amazing and this place is the perfect example of why Columbus is a great city. Unless you know what you're doing it can be a boring city but many of the greatest attractions are hidden. Tasi is hidden on a back alley off high street. If you didn't know what you were looking for you would never find it. Thank goodness I know where it is.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Restarting 395 Project. I'm not really great with following through on stuff so I'm getting back on the wagon and dedicading myself to doing this. Call it a new years resolution. So....
Day 1: 1/1/11
My parents insist on having sauerkraut and pork on New Year's Day. It's the most disqusting smell and it envelops the house. Not the most pleasant thing on a day when you're hung over.